If you guys still remember, I used to post quite a bit about my hairdresser who gives haircuts at his home while wearing singlets which don’t favour the shape of his mid-30s paunch well. Over time, I’ve come to realise that he sustains his customer base by being an endless source of the most amazing quotes ever. Today, the following conversations happened:
(Conversation somehow shifts to the topic of threesomes, don’t ask how)
Heinz: You know, I was involved in a threesome once.
Me: Wow, are you serious? (“There’s no way you’re serious”)
Heinz: Yah, I was very young then. It was a casual friend I knew, so I went to her place and it turns out the other girl is her girlfriend. They were wearing see-through dresses with laces on them and there were candles set up around the apartment as well. It got really heavy when they brought out the whips which they wanted me to hit them with.
Me: (I didn’t say anything at this point because there is absolutely nothing I can or should say)
Heinz: And one of the girls got angry at me, you know why?
Me: …W-Why?
(At this point he awkwardly pokes the comb into my shoulder, obviously feeling very embarrassed)
Heinz: Because-because…I didn’t let her (goes into a whisper because his Mother wasn’t too far away, even though she doesn’t understand English at all) eat my sperm.
Another one:
Heinz: I have this friend I still meet up for lunch every now and then. When we are done with our meals, (starts whispering again because his fucking wife was back by then) she would give me a blowjob in the carpark.
That’s all for today, folks, thank you for reading! Heinz is the best!
It was nearly eight in the evening when I was having baked pre-marinated chicken for dinner. There was grease all over my fingers and a little smeared around my mouth as well but the stagnant stillness of the warm late-Spring air created a weird atmosphere that made me do nothing about it. I think this is how the Sub-Saharan African kids filmed by the National Geographic crew feel about the flies on their faces.
There’s a lot to look forward to back in Singapore but if today’s weather feels as close to Singapore’s as I think it did, I’m not really eager to sweat so much again.
Also, turns out that the Buzzcocks are playing in Singapore after I thought I had to miss them here in Melbourne because of my flight, awesome.
Had him doing a semi-ironic blackface in Chicago. Next episode features him talking to both Hamas and the Israelis. This show is aweome.
Apparently, some guy suffering from schizophrenia went into “15 rental, two loan and 19 service agreements” with a electronics store, which amounted to roughly $20,000 over the period of 6 years.
I laughed to myself before realising that I might be going a little nuts too, from the studying.
I haven’t been fixated by a film for its entirety for a really long time and District 9 did just that to me. Even if you don’t care much for its social and political overtones, you will enjoy the film just for its amazing CGI. The last third of the film degenerates almost purely into an action film but at least it was an enjoyable one with at least one “FUCK YES” moment.
One problem I had was the portrayal of the aliens, which might be a little insensitive to the actual sufferers of the apartheid (the film is set in South Africa), which the film was obviously based on. Hypocritically enough, I thought the fact that it was the Nigerians who made money off the aliens by selling them cat food was hilarious.
Remember that “FUCK YES” moment I was talking about? I just watched that part again and it’s still very “FUCK YES”.
